There is a rumor going around that lesbians are all friends with their exes, which means that every queer friend network is full of smutty backstory that any newcomer will have to contend with.There’s often a strong sense of unfinished business in this story, and when one-half of that ex-couple meets a new person, there are inevitably big blowout fights about still being in love with each other, but the other person will never change, etc. What seems more common is that women remain friends after breaking up because reorganizing social networks feels too complicated, and any lines drawn lead to fallout and lost friends.I would like to propose that everybody stop trying to be friends with their exes.The whole piece of “let’s stay friends” after a breakup, while often sincere, is impossible to do immediately after a breakup., it isn’t easy for ex-romantic partners to remain friends. If you’re like me, the answer is more likely zero, nil, nada, zilch.Think about it…how many of your exes are still friends of yours? Even if your ex assured you that “it’s not you, it’s me,” breakups are still upsetting.
" but with him, you already have a pretty good sense of who he is because you've spent the last year hanging out with him like pals. He knows that you start imagining he's dead on the side of the road when he doesn't text you back for eight hours so he does his best not to make you think he's dead. If he's the type of guy who would've been your friend whether you eventually dated or not, he's already the best kind of guy to date.
However, he abruptly broke up with me, with little explanation, a few months later.
He was intentional — he called my dad, whom he had never met, and asked for permission to court me.
These exes already know what it’s like to be friends, which makes it easier to transition back into friendship.
Of course, this assumes the ex-couple didn’t move into a “friends-with-benefits” relationship, which can be quite complicated.